


We Give In Sometimes

by storm_dog_pirate



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, So there you go, but i have 0 impulse control, just them being idiots again, set in the three year gap, this was supposed to be further down the line of the three year gap series, triumvirate content bc they deserve the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28475409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_dog_pirate/pseuds/storm_dog_pirate
Summary: The King and the Commander of Ravka share a dance during the New Year's Ball, and it may have been the night where they start to realize their growing fondness for each other.
Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky
Kudos: 43





	We Give In Sometimes

Zoya looked around the ballroom with narrowed eyes, making sure not to miss even the darkest of corners within her vantage point. She wasn't being paranoid; she was only being careful. Something bad could happen tonight. The last time there was this number of royals and high ranking officials in one place, the Palace had been attacked mercilessly and they were left to fend against the monsters that came. 

Their current king's birthday celebration that day had been bad enough. She wasn't going to let the new year start bloody. 

"Ease up, Commander," Tamar murmured from beside her. She wore her usual sleeveless tunic tonight, making Zoya completely conscious of being overdressed on her blue floor-length gown that Genya forced her to wear. "You look too stiff. Try to force a smile on your face." 

“I would look like someone constipated after eating a badly cooked meal,” Zoya said. She frowned when she heard Tolya’s deep laugh from her other side. “I think both of you should have known by now that I don’t smile.”

“Hm, I don’t think so. Maybe not that much,” said Tolya, “but the king’s jokes could make you.”

Zoya wrinkled her nose in displeasure, but she didn’t like how she felt heat rise to her cheeks. “His _awful_ jokes, you mean.” She turned to Nikolai instead, who was standing by the table just below the dais and getting ready to give a speech to all the attendees. 

Even from their place at the side entrance, she could still feel the energy radiating off him, the confident smile he gave to the people as he raised his glass in a toast. The people had their full attention on him, and she had to commend his ability to capture the crowd in a snap. Maybe it was indeed his charm. She found herself huffing in amusement, shaking her head, and the impulse of the act made her realize it too late. The twins had already noticed.

Tamar chuckled. “See? You’re starting to grow fond of him,” she said.

“Oh, shut it.” Zoya rolled her eyes. “If by fond you meant wanting to strangle him whenever he speaks too much, which is always, then you’re right,” she said. “I _am_ fond of him.”

“It’s alright to admit you’re warming up to the king,” mused Tolya, laughing softly when Zoya gave him a glare. “Admitting to something is not a sign of weakness, dearest commander.”

Zoya put a hand to her temple. “Saints, why am I stationed here with you two again?”

“You’re not stationed anywhere, Zoya. You just chose to be here with us.”

“So she could watch the king with us, you mean,” Tamar added for good measure, and she and her brother shared a laugh. “Worry not, commander, we’re not telling Genya.”

“We all know that’s not true,” Zoya deadpanned.

Tolya raised his hands in surrender. “Not me, though. I stick to my word.”

With a huff, Zoya only shook her head, but a small smile was evident on her lips. Almost two years of working with them had made it easier for her to smile since the war, even if it’s only at rare times, and she appreciated these moments of banter. It somehow lightened the weight on her shoulders.

“—thank you, and I hope we all have a wonderful start of the year.” Nikolai raised his glass higher, and the people did the same. “To Ravka.”

“ _To Ravka_ ,” the crowd chorused, and they all downed their drinks.

“Please, enjoy the rest of the night.”

Cheers erupted, followed by the orchestra playing mellow music that wafted throughout the ballroom. Zoya looked around. The event had been planned in just a matter of two weeks, courtesy of ‘Ravka’s greatest event organizer’ Genya Safin. If Zoya were to be asked, this wasn’t entirely necessary. 

As she had said, it would only be a waste of their dwindling funds. But, alas, the infuriating king had insisted in pushing it through. 

_I need to make sure that the dukes and other big names I don't remember see that I appreciate their loyalty_ , he had said, and Zoya didn't know whether to punch him or kick him out of the war room that time. _Besides, it's a new year. Don't you want to start it with a blast?_

The twins surprisingly went along with the plan. David showed a bit of distaste for the ball, saying that there were other important things for them to do. But one pleading look from Genya had made him agree in a heartbeat. It made Zoya the only one to oppose the new year’s event.

It was five against one; she had no other choice. 

“Has Genya drowned in her duties yet?” Zoya turned the twins, grabbing one of the champagne glasses from a servant that passed them. She took a sip, and winced when the sour taste hit her throat. “I’m quite worried that David is going to have to endure a snoring Genya in their quarters.”

“I last saw her by the buffet table earlier,” said Tolya. He let his gaze sweep the crowd. “Checking the menu or trying to eat, I don’t know. But I do hope she hasn’t drowned yet.”

Tamar hummed. “Guess we’ll have to see tonight if she doesn’t pass out in our afterparty,” she said. 

“Afterparty?” Zoya echoed in bewilderment. What in the saints’ name did they plan again? 

“Oh, by the way, can I have some of the champagne?” Tamar asked, taking the glass of Zoya’s hand before she could even protest. The former downed what was left of the drink immediately. “Well, at least now we got that out of the way.”

Zoya frowned deeply, confusion evident on her face. What the hell was going on? “Out of the what?” 

“Heads up, Commander,” Tolya said, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders and turning her around. “I think you’ve got company.”

Her eyes met with familiar hazel ones from across the floor, and Zoya barely had the time to register that he was _approaching_ her. Her feet felt rooted onto the floor. 

The twins’ presence disappeared as if they were ghosts, but she didn’t quite as much as noticed it, not when he was looking at her like she was the only person in the room. She had long since known that the king had a certain charm that could easily capture one’s attention. The only thing she did not expect was that it suddenly had an effect on _her_. 

Zoya had never wanted to strangle him more.

“Do tell me what is causing your scowl tonight, dearest Squaller,” Nikolai greeted as he stopped in front of her. She knew she should say something back snarky as usual, but her thoughts seemed to have halted. “Is Genya’s party not doing its wonders?”

“If by wonders you meant stressing out making sure nothing bad happens at your party tonight,” she said when she finally found her thoughts again, “then I’m definitely enjoying the ball.”

A shadow passed on Nikolai’s face, but it was gone in a blink. Zoya almost regretted bringing it up had he not given her his signature grin after a moment, as if he hadn’t just remembered a memory of a horrible time in the Grand Palace two years ago. The quick shift in his expression always amazed and scared her—she wouldn’t know if it was _Nikolai_ or just one of the many masks he used to hide himself. But that was before, when she still didn’t know how to understand him, when she still couldn’t read his eyes. 

Tonight, he looked like himself, almost happy, if it weren’t for the dark circles around his eyes. There was still no denying he was exhausted. Zoya sometimes wished he would tell her more about what was going on in his mind.

“Worry not, my dearest Squaller,” he said, making her frown at the nickname but she didn’t say anything else, “there’s no idiot other than me to lift the barricades of the trade routes and let potential intruders in.” The way he spoke of the nightmare was mild, but there was a slight strain in his voice. He covered it up with another grin. “But let’s not talk about that.”

Zoya released a relieved breath. “What are you doing here, anyway?” She looked past his shoulders, checking if he had done something that needed her assistance again, but she didn’t see anything out of ordinary, except for the cluster of people at the middle of the floor. She turned back to Nikolai with a frown. “Shouldn’t you be charming other high-ranking officials into funding us with their enormous riches?”

“Ah, but it’s not the time for that,” said Nikolai. “Tonight, we celebrate and ignore everything else.”

“And regret it in the morning?”

“And regret it in the morning, yes.” The king of Ravka pretended to ponder about it for a moment. “The party ends an hour before midnight, so we roughly have two more.” 

Zoya nodded. “Alright, then.” 

There was a long silence that stretched between them, making her even more confused as the seconds ticked by. Nikolai was still in front of her, an expectant expression on his face. She frowned. What else did he want?

“What is it?” 

Nikolai opened his mouth, as if to say something, only to close it again. He did it for a few more times before clearing his throat. Then he extended a hand, and Zoya became even more confused. “May I?” he asked. 

“May you what?”

“Saints, Nazyalensky,” he breathed in disbelief, but she could hear the embarrassment in his tone. His ears turned red. “May I have this dance?”

It took Zoya at least five seconds until his words sunk in. By the time her mind finally processed them, she was gaping at him. There were a lot of questions running in her head, so many possible things to say, but only one word came out of her mouth. “Idiot.”

She expected him to be offended or shocked, anything that would make him step away from her. She didn’t anticipate him to laugh lightly. “I think we’ve already established that from the start,” Nikolai said. There was an obvious gleam in his eyes. “And I don’t think that’s a proper answer to my question, Nazyalensky.”

“Nikolai,” Zoya said, her voice coming out a bit breathless. She realized it too late that she had used his first name instead of his title. The crown couldn’t handle more rumors and scandals of its king. What was he thinking? “This is entirely inappropriate.”

“Well,” he said, offering her an easy grin, “I’m not tied to anyone, am I?”

“Shouldn’t you be finding someone else, like a potential bride to charm?”

Nikolai furrowed his eyebrows. “I think it’s too early for that.”

“You’re almost twenty-three,” Zoya countered, “it’s not too _early_ —”

“You know I’ll do that,” he said suddenly, voice somber. This had her silent, her words dying in her throat. He smiled ruefully. “We both know that’s inevitable. But maybe not tonight.”

Zoya considered him for a moment; there was a hopeful and genuine look in his eyes that let her know it was him, the boy who was carrying the whole country on his shoulders, the boy who needed a friend. She would indulge him, even just for tonight. 

“Alright, Lantsov,” she said, taking his outstretched hand. He had his gloves on as usual, and yet her skin felt warm under his touch. She let him lead her on the dance floor. “But just to not make you look like a dumped puppy in an alley.”

Nikolai chuckled. “Ever the romantic.”

“Ever practical.”

They stopped at the center, directly under the dim-lit chandelier that illuminated the ballroom in a soft, blue and white glow. Around them, Zoya could feel the stares sent their way, but she didn’t mind them one bit. Perhaps she should just let them talk—that’s what they do best, anyway. At least they could have a good laugh once rumors start circulating. 

"Talk to me, Commander," Nikolai said teasingly, and Zoya snapped out of her thoughts. It was only then she became aware of his touch on her waist. And when did her arms wind around his neck? "Every time you furrow your eyebrows like that I can't help assuming you're thinking of something….very Zoya-like at best." 

Zoya raised an eyebrow. "And that is?" 

"I don't know, throwing letters in the fire?" he offered, and she had to roll her eyes. She definitely remembered what he was talking about. "Or wanting to strangle an injured person." 

"For the record," she said, "you were being infuriating despite being shot at the side." 

“Ah, but who would entertain you as you were dragging the 'royal pain' to the nearest town?" 

"You know what maybe I should have just left you by the river." 

Nikolai feigned a hurtful look. "You wound me, dearest Commander," he said dramatically. "Who would you argue over herring with?" 

"I'd gladly trade you for herring, Nikolai," she said, and her heart made a weird flip when he laughed out loud. She gave him a glare. "I'm serious." 

"Then shall I proclaim the biggest herring in the kitchen as the new king?" 

Zoya huffed in disbelief, but it came out as a breathy laugh instead. She shook her head. "You're an idiot, did you know that?"

"But at least you're starting to smile much more these past few months." Nikolai nodded, looking pleased by himself. "I'd take that as a win." 

"As you please, Your Highness." 

Nikolai only laughed softly as a reply, and another wave of silence washed over them. He continued to sway them along the music, his arm encircling around her waist and pulling her slightly closer, while hers instinctively tightened around his neck. There was a time in the past that Zoya wouldn't have considered being close to the king—she'd had enough letting herself trust men in power, knowing all too well the outcome of such a decision. 

But in the short time she'd known and worked with him, he had been all but controlling, the desire to make a change evident in his actions and words, as well as his instinct to protect the people close to him. 

She would never forget the time he pushed her out of the way and ended taking the bullet that was supposed to hit her fatally. Though she still didn't know if it had been a good thing as it had caused them to fall off the cliff and he almost bled to death. 

"Were you planning on brooding in the corner for the whole night?" Nikolai said after a while, making her look up at him. His eyes were alight with amusement. “I’m quite sure Genya wouldn’t want you staying in the corner especially when she had you wear that dress.”

Zoya felt her cheeks heat up and she averted her eyes away, looking at something past his shoulder instead. Anywhere but his hazel eyes. “That was actually my plan until you decided to ask me to dance.”

Nikolai chuckled, the sound suddenly sounding too close to her ear and sending shivers on her exposed skin. Her heart was already beating erratically in her chest. “But you still agreed to dance with me,” he said. “Doesn’t it count as a character development?”

“It would look bad on you if people were to see I rejected you,” she said, lifting her chin to look back up at him, “I did you a favor.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t out of fondness and adoration?”

“Definitely not,” Zoya replied, but the words felt a bit hollow. She frowned at him. “There are a lot of other women that are much more eligible to have your first dance with.” She considered her words for a second. “You could’ve asked Genya.”

Nikolai raised a perfect brow. “Well, you see, if I had asked Genya, I’m sure she would have rejected me right away as she was still busy checking things tonight. And David would probably have poisoned me by the end of the night.” He paused, and then a moment later, he added, “I’d rather have my first dance with someone I know and trust rather than a stranger whom I would most probably have an awkward conversation with.”

Then he smiled, the kind that softened up his features that made him look less a king than someone she would kiss before the night ended, and her breath hitched in her throat. Realization hit like a cold water to her face, fear slowly growing in her chest again. 

Why tonight? Why _him_?

It would be too easy—too easy to give in to the moment and close the distance between them as her mind had thought of a few times in the past. 

But Zoya immediately shook her inappropriate thoughts away. He was her _king_ , and she was his Commander. She would be a fool to think he would as much as glance her way. They could never have that kind of moment. And yet, her traitorous heart was telling her something else entirely. 

_Saints_. She needed to get away. She needed to get away from _him_.

Nikolai seemed to notice the sudden shift in her thoughts, and a worried crease between his eyebrows appeared. “Is there something wrong?” he asked. “Zoya?”

_Don’t_ , she wanted to say, and yet decided against it. _Don’t say my name like that._ Zoya shook her head, forcing a smile on her lips. “I’m fine,” she lied smoothly, trying to make her voice as even as possible. But she knew he would still notice the change in his demeanor. He would always notice. “I just” — _want to go_ — “remembered something unimportant.”

If he wanted to say he didn’t quite believe her, he kept silent. Though there was concern behind his gentle eyes. “Did you just admit to thinking of something unimportant?” he said playfully, and Zoya knew he was just trying to uplift the mood again. But the moment was gone, and it was all on her.

“There are times that I do, Lantsov,” she said, but it came out half-hearted than she intended. “Not as often as you, though.”

Nikolai laughed lightly. “How ruthless,” he said.

“I do what I can,” replied Zoya.

The fates seemed to be on her side tonight because the song ended, and she took the short moment of the song transition to untangle her arms from his neck. She ignored the sudden coldness around her when she let go. Nikolai looked reluctant, but he stepped back nonetheless, putting a short distance between them. She appreciated the silence that he offered.

“Thank you for the invite, Your Highness,” she said, a tad bit too formally. 

“It is my pleasure, Commander,” he replied. 

Zoya let her gaze linger at him for a moment, and then she turned around, walking away and leaving him on the dance floor. She didn’t look back.

A drink definitely sounded inviting.

***

Nikolai didn’t see her again until Genya’s ‘afterparty’. He was still thinking about the sudden change in her demeanor right before the dance ended. Was it something that he said? If it was, then he was the biggest idiot in the world for letting his blabbermouth ruin the moment. It was rare for her to let her guard down even for a second, and he wished she could show more of her side to him. But it would only be wishful thinking considering that he might have done something to make her shy away from him again. 

“Frowning tonight, aren’t we?” a voice from beside him said, effectively startling him out of his thoughts. It was Tolya, who was walking with him back to the ballroom. 

“Why, dear Tolya, I have the ability to frown too,” Nikolai said. 

They had ushered the visitors down to the courtyard, where the final hour of the year would be spent waiting for the countdown and watching the fireworks shoot in the sky. But the six of them would be by the balcony of the ballroom that overlooked the entire grounds. 

_We deserve to have at least an hour to ourselves without the people around_ , Genya had said the night before as she ran through the sequence of events for the last time. _Besides, it’s us through the end and the beginning of the year._

Nikolai found himself smiling at the thought. He never would have guessed that the redhead could be a bit sentimental too. Usually it was him that was the dramatic one, and when Genya had stated her thoughts, he chuckled. This earned him a kick in the shin, of course, but the flushed look on her face was enough triumph for him.

“How long until midnight?” he asked Tolya.

Tolya furrowed his eyebrows. “Less than half an hour now.”

“We’ve been down there for that long?”

“Well,” Tamar said from his other side, “you did talk to and smiled quite a lot to some dukes.”

Nikolai wrinkled his nose. “Guess it was inevitable.”

By the time they reached the balcony, Nikolai could already hear voices echoing outside. It was mostly feminine voices. One was in a hushed tone that was telling them to tone it down. Probably David.

They finally stepped to the vicinity, and Nikolai had to frown. A round table that was surely from inside the ballroom had already been set in the middle, the candelabra providing enough light for him to notice the carelessly thrown sheets on the surface. Genya, Zoya, David, and Nadia were already lounging by the table, drinking whatever alcohol there was in their own glasses.

But to set all those things aside, he was still wondering about something.

“How did they take that table out?” Tamar asked the question inside his head.

As if she had heard the question, Genya suddenly turned, her amber eye brightening at the sight of them. “There you are!” she said as she stood up and approached them in excitement. “Took your time, eh?”

Nikolai chuckled. “You know I do as much talking as I can,” he said in amusement, and Genya only rolled her eye. He looked past the Tailor, seeing Zoya talking with Nadia in a rather argumentative fashion, with the latter keeping the bottle of alcohol away from his Commander as she tried to reach for it. They didn't seem to notice them yet. 

"You do the talking, and it scares people away," said Genya, and Nikolai had to stop at that. It was more true than he would have liked. She suddenly linked her arm to his. "Well, come on. Everyone's waiting." 

Her voice had gone a bit higher than usual now, and that was the time Nikolai finally noticed the redness on her cheeks and the slight slur in her words. "Have you been drinking?"

Genya winced as if she remembered something embarrassing. "Well, Commander Grumpy had been drinking way too early so it's unethical to let her drink alone," she said, and then she started dragging him to the table. "Come on, Your Idiocy, Zoya has been asking where you were since the party ended." 

Nikolai looked back at the twins in both confusion and bewilderment. A drunk Genya was worrying enough. But a drunk Genya and Zoya? Disastrous. 

Tolya waved a hand as they followed, mouthing something Nikolai understood as "just go with it". And yet there was no denying the knowing smile that was twitching on Tolya's lips. 

Nikolai made a face, and mouthed back, "Traitor." 

Genya continued to pull him along, and as they neared the table, Zoya finally looked up, her argument with Nadia halting completely. And then she did something he never anticipated. 

She smiled. 

Nikolai almost stopped in his tracks. It wasn't the small type of smile, the one that spoke of suppressed joy in fear of having the image of the ruthless commander taken from her. 

Instead it was a full grin, the type that lit up her eyes and softened her features. He suddenly found it hard to breathe, realization dawning him. 

Saints. She was going to be the death of him. 

But a single thought remained in his mind. Zoya was drunk, and he chalked up the change in demeanor to her intoxication. Because there was no way she would send a smile his way when she was sober. 

"There he is," she said, the smile never leaving her face, "the infuriating idiot." 

Behind him, he heard Tolya laugh quietly. Nikolai tried to glare at the giant, but Genya was already forcing him down the seat between Nadia and Zoya. He felt her gaze at him, the act making pull at the collar of his suit. The air was suddenly too warm despite the current weather. 

"Oh, convenient. Can you keep your Commander in her seat, Your Highness? She's already quite drunk and yet she still wants to finish this whole bottle of whiskey," Nadia said, before leaning back in Tamar's arms when the latter pressed a kiss on her head. "Drunk Zoya is a strange Zoya."

Nikolai laughed nervously. "That's a nice way to put it." 

"Now you're siding with someone else?" Zoya practically whined, making Nikolai finally turn to her with a raised brow. 

"How much did you drink, Nazyalensky?" he asked. 

Zoya scowled. "I'm not that drunk, Your Highness," she said, turning away to reach for her glass. Her hand missed the handle by an inch. 

"You were saying?" Nikolai bit his tongue to keep himself from laughing when Zoya gave him a glare. Her cheeks were flushed when she was finally able to hold the glass, and it only made him want to laugh even more. "Can you still even hold the glass properly?" 

"Do you want me to hold your hand in order to prove it, Your Highness?"

Heat creeped up to his neck and ears. Did she just—

Zoya laughed lightly, the sound only adding to the erratic beating of his heart. She looked at ease, free. So unlike the stoic and masked expression she usually wore. 

_Beautiful,_ his traitorous mind supplied. _Extraordinary._

Nikolai averted his eyes, shaking the thoughts away. He covered up his flustered state with another laugh, but it came out nervously instead. "Bet you can't even summon a proper wind draft," he said. 

Around him, he heard Genya's laugh. "Actually, she used the winds to force the table out here," the redhead said. "But I don't know if she still can summon properly, though." 

Tolya hummed. "I bet she could still blast us all with her eyes closed."

"Are we starting a bet?" Tamar inquired, earning an elbow to the stomach from Nadia. The former Shu mercenary furrowed her eyebrows at her wife. "What? I bet the Commander can't." 

Any trace of drunkenness in Zoya’s eyes disappeared, replaced by a challenging glint. "Is that a challenge?"

Nikolai leveled her look with his own. "You're on," he said. 

"And if I'm able to?" 

"I don't know. Anything you want, then." 

Zoya chuckled darkly. "You're definitely making the wrong bet, Lantsov."

Nikolai smiled, then turned to the others. "In favor of our extraordinary Squaller being able to summon?" 

Tolya and Nadia raised a hand instantly. After a moment, David, who was silent during most of the conversation, also raised his hand. 

"It's three on three, then, eh?" Nikolai mused, and it only ignited the fire in Zoya’s eyes brighter. 

"No regrets in the morning, alright?" his Commander said before raising a hand. 

They all waited, everyone holding their breaths. A long moment passed, and then the softest of breezes could be felt in the air. The glass nearest to Zoya fell down with a clink. 

Nothing further happened. 

A beat. " _Whoa_ , Commander," Tamar said, "I think you almost just killed someone with that. If that was your intention, then I'd say you're stone cold sober." 

The redness on Zoya's cheeks became evident, and then she grabbed a table napkin and threw it over to Tamar, who only laughed loudly in reply. 

Nikolai shook his head. "Losers get to do something for the winners, yes?" 

Genya looked triumphant. "No more reading for the rest of the night, David." 

The faintest of frowns appeared on David's face, but he closed his book nonetheless and removed his glasses. "Alright."

Tamar pretended to think for a moment. "No late nights in the lab for a week," she told Nadia. 

"I don't get the call on that," Nadia protested. 

"Don't worry," Nikolai said, waving a hand, "it's the beginning of a new year. You all deserve it." 

"I'm allowed to recite poetry in the war room, then," said Tolya. 

"Why does that sound like a loss for all of us?" 

They all had a good laugh, and Nikolai leaned back on his chair comfortably as he looked at the people who had become his pillars for the past two years. Each of them had their own strengths that stuck with him. 

Tolya's steadfastness on morality over everything else. Tamar's intellect to gather the most relevant information to their advantage, Nadia's useful ideas for the advancement of their warfare, David's crafting to improve and tweak their technology. Genya's organization on anything they might need to do. And Zoya's strength to keep them tight together. 

Nikolai wasn't the type to get very emotional on anything, but he was definitely thankful for having them beside him. He never knew where he would be without them. 

The bell from the clock tower clanged, signalling that it was just a minute left until midnight. Cheers erupted from the courtyard, and Genya dragged David from his seat and over to the parapet to have a closer look at the skies. Nadia and Tamar followed in suit, Tolya not trailing far behind them.

"They're quite the lot," Zoya said after a moment, startling Nikolai to his stupor. He had completely forgotten that she was still there beside him. "I'm not the type to believe in fate, but I'm glad all our paths were bound to meet." 

He raised an eyebrow as he turned to her. "Is that sentiment I'm hearing, Nazyalensky?" 

"Oh, shut it. Let me have my moment." She reached over to the neglected bottle of whiskey to his left, but he acted at the same time to grab it—to put it away from her, he reminded himself—and their hands ended up touching at its body. Warmth erupted from where their skin met, and every thought from his mind disappeared. 

Neither of them spoke for a bit, but then he felt her hand squeeze his lightly, making him look at her. 

A small smile was on Zoya's lips, her eyes softer than most of the time he'd seen in the past. "See?" she said. "I told you my hand can still hold properly." 

Nikolai blinked, not quite believing the sight in front of him. He wasn't even intoxicated of anything, but he never thought it was possible for her to look even more beautiful than she was now. 

He turned away, heat rising to his neck. Saints, what was happening to him? 

The crowd began chanting the countdown. 

_Ten._

_Nine._

He could still feel her gaze on him. Would he dare to turn to her again? 

_Eight_

_Seven._

_Six._

Something had definitely shifted between them tonight since their dance. He would never know what it was if he didn't ask her. 

_Five._

_Four._

But would Zoya acknowledge it? 

_Three._

 _Two._

Nikolai finally made up his mind. He started to turn to her. "Zoya—" 

But she had already leaned forward, closing the distance between them and pressing her lips to his. 

_One_. 

Fireworks began exploding in the sky, and along with it came the loud cheers from the crowd below as they celebrated the start of the new year.

And yet somehow they weren't as loud as the beating of his heart when he closed his eyes and kissed her back. 

Her lips were soft against his, and he knew he would have preferred to stay in that moment for the rest of his life if time permitted it. Then he felt her hand fist on the front of his shirt, pulling him even closer and kissing him deeper, and Nikolai matched her fervor with his own as he buried a hand in her hair. 

He would never know what made Zoya suddenly do it, or why he felt the want—the _need_ —to pull her closer in his arms and just kiss her until the night broke to dawn, but he knew they were bound to not talk about this tomorrow or ever. 

It ended just as fast as it happened, and they pulled away. Nikolai opened his eyes, still half-dazed with what just happened, seeing the same look mirrored on her face that made him think of wanting to kiss her again. 

Saints, she was breathtaking. 

Zoya lingered close for one more second before pulling away, the redness on her cheeks more evident than ever. She cleared her throat. "At least now it's over with," she mumbled. 

Nikolai could only blink as she snatched the bottle away from his grasp, the warmth of her hand finally leaving his skin. He tried not to pull her hand back to his.

Of course it was just a spur of the moment. He shouldn't have expected more from it. But a part of him was glad it happened, anyway. 

"That's good to know." He chuckled, the sound still coming out breathless. "Here's to another stressful year." 

"To another stressful year," Zoya agreed. 

They both looked up to the brightened skies, feeling content after a long time. 

Nikolai could live in this moment for a while.


End file.
